...and I have a gun!
Yeah, alright, maybe I don't actually have a gun, but imagine I do...and be very afraid!
I am so pissed off with myself. I poured a glass of wine earlier, noticed the bottle was almost empty, but assumed there was another hidden in the dark, scary area at the bottom of the fridge. I was wrong! Arghhhhhhh! I could have walked around the corner to the little Tesco Express, but I couldn't be arsed, quite frankly. Damn these laws about kids not buying alcohol under the age of 18. My family know all the shop ladies, can't I send them with a note or something? They could get my cigarettes too!
So I'm sitting here after an excruciatingly long day with no wine. This does not make me feel happy. This does not inspire me to write something witty and marginally hilarious. This makes me tetchy and boring.
Something did amuse me earlier though. I have almost equal male to female regular readers who comment. If I post something along the lines of "My life is crap, I'm having a breakdown" all my female readers rally with words of wisdom and hugs, (Thank you!!) and the guys all disappear in a cloud of dust!
As soon as I post a picture of my underwear, or a really bloody dodgy photo of my stripy legs, they are all crawling out of the woodwork. That cracks me up! I really am teasing and don't for a moment want to alienate anyone, but you must agree that is hilarious!
In other news, the people who live about 4 doors up from me have been burning crap in their garden every day this week. My washing has been hanging out to dry and now stinks of smoke. Thankyouveryfuckingmuch! Twats!
Thursday, 8 May 2008
Warning! I'm out of wine...
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12 comments:
POOR BABY!
We need to get some wine and nicotine in you!
Oh, please pahdon me...'ello Luv!
"Twats!"
I just love your phrasing of things.
Well, if you can't be "arsed" to go to the Tesco for wine, clearly there is no way you would jump on a plane and fly out here to Illinois. Katie and I have three cases of wine. Just need some motivation and company.
Yes, indeed. Post a picture of your cleavage, and see how many comments you get.
And private emails, too, from guys who you actually KNOW, who are peeved that you didn't show much skin, in the photo.
Made my entire week, I think.
No wine? My god, one scratch on the leg and you fall apart, don't you!
Damn laws - whose bright idea was it anyhow, to make it so you can't send your kid out to re-stock your emergency kit.
On a side note, my husband's brother locked (with never locking doors -ever- prior -ly?) his girlfriend out when she drank is emergency beer in the crisper drawer of the fridge. Then, made her move back to her own place.
Here it was, my first comment on your blog and I was all ready to show some support for your wine issues. But now...now I can't...for fear of being seen as a girl... A GIRL!!!!, no less. Anyway...now I would like someone to direct me to the cleavage shots on this blog.
Thank you.
John - 'eelo Luv! Poor baby indeed - helpppp!!!
Sizzle - I really shouldn't swear so much, but it's such fun! ;o)
Kevin - 3 cases?? I'm there!! ;o)
Christine - As I told you before, my cleavage isn't worth mentioning - seems like you had fun though ;o)
Donna - I think it's fair enough to send my kids out to buy wine and cigarettes! ;o)
Othurme - Welcome!! Thank you for showing support, despite worrying about being seen as a GIRL!
Go ahead and look for cleavage shots but you will be sorely disappointed I'm afraid. Try Christine's blog ;o)
Mrs. Icy won't let me make the boys fetch me beer. The oldest, however, will bring unsolicited cans if he senses I am in need.
And wait a minute...just because I tell you "Quit whinging, your life is great," I get lumped with the dusters?
You called them "twats". Heheh heh.
Icy Mt - don't make me shout @ you!! Who are you calling "dusters"? Cheeky bugger ;o)
I have the opposite problem. I have too many bottles of wine and I'm trying to get them all finished before I move next month! I know, you probably didn't want to hear that. I mean...is there really such a thing as TOO MUCH wine? I think not! I'll make it happen somehow!
Bitchy Chick - "I know, you probably didn't want to hear that." Hell no!!!
Enjoy finishing them up ;o)
Ah the 80's...mine parents totally wrote those notes...and the shop owners complied! Nutters!
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